I have to Apologize

I have been excruciatingly busy as of late, trying to to obtain my son’s guardianship, knowing that he was turning 18 on the 9/6. I found that I had to resend multiple forms to the court house (thank GOD for the ability to rapidly scan documents/copies of them through email, as too many important things sent to this unnamed legal establishment via certified mail were STILL mislaid). Eventually, I got to speak w/ an attorney who, on the day before my son’s scheduled ear surgery, implied that I might not get a hearing that day despite all my efforts. Just what this FRANTIC mother wanted to hear! Time was of the absolute essence as Timothy had JUST turned 18 and could not sign consent forms necessary for him to receive anesthesia in advance of the procedure! Should I cancel the surgery and the trip into Boston? I had practiced driving the route on Labor Day as I don’t normally drive Boston .

I had been working on completing/issuing all the necessary assessments (MD, Psych, Social Worker) within the correct time frame(or they would have to be done all over again. never mind COVID and court closures and all their backed up mail!). At the near last minute, Someone court gave me the great idea to apply for EMERGENCY guardianship because of the impending surgery. I quickly did this, writing a THIRD affidavit which this time mentioned the pressing necessity due to my son’s ear pain and loss of hearing (imagine starting school with both of those things front and center, when one is already limited by Down Syndrome and ASD!). I thing I formally begged the judge. How does one formally beg? Hmm..I am feeling a bit theatrical as I ponder that…but I digress. I sat on the couch (talk about potato!!) the entire day looking at email and waiting for a call as I simultaneously watched the clock thinking “they close at 4:30..they close at 4:30!”). I tried to relax but was completely unable. Suddenly I got an email from the attorney: “the judge can do a hearing at 3:15 or 3:30 with Timothy, myself AND my older son (away at college..hello..and already came home earlier in the day to sign necessary paperwork before one of those infamous scanning events). My older son needed to be there because I decided to go for co-guardianship! Oh, NO! I quickly called him (this is going to be a disaster and I will need to cancel the surgery and God knows when I will finish obtaining the guardianship!). I called him and thankfully he answered right away. could he Zoom from school with us and the judge? He had a very small window of time, and as God arranged it, that was at 3:15!! I quickly emailed the attorney back and told her and went into the judge’s virtual waiting room. Timothy was promised Mcdonald’s if he could just sit with me on the couch while the judge asked us questions. It took 5 minutes. This was gift from God. I would be lying if I wrote I did not get on my knees and pray about the whole thing in advance and that afterwards I didn’t yell at the top of my lungs: “THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!”. So the real ending to the story was this: the surgery (prayed over by many people at my church on our prayer chain) went without a hitch. Pain medications followed every few hours prophylactically and with great success. I am so thankful to God, especially today as Timothy had his first day of school! I truly wish I could post his picture but have no idea how to do that and no time to learn. His hearing is very much improved and I just wish I had taken care of this a few weeks before he turned 18 but……

My husband was hospitalized with congestive heart failure exacerbation. We were left us two (Timothy and I) to try and cope on our own. I spent time calling the nurses every morning, getting the latest reports which initially were bad with big problems. I tried to visit (the hospital was wonderful and let Timothy visit with me) but it was hard to be with someone who was so sick. I instantly realized upon crossing into his hospital room that visiting was not a good idea. It was very hard for Timothy to see his dad so sick (at one point when he saw a pair of socks in my husband’s hospital room, he ran and brought them over to him maybe thinking that that would somehow help him. he wanted to do something for him).

Sound like a broken record here, but the power of prayer is amazing!!! I had some very lonely moments at home and began to allow myself to imagine what would it be like if he died. I know he will die one day, but I prayed that God would bring Doug home…home to me. I prayed for healing to all the organs that were not doing well and that He would normalize other things as well. I tried to stay focused on those prayers when I found myself leaning in the direction of fear. Fear is a terrible thing sometimes…especially when there is no one there with skin on to tell you to not be afraid (Timothy does not know how to say comforting words, although he did give and does give some wonderful hugs: it may have been the Holy Spirit working through him to comfort me in those long days). Doug is back home now…working with visiting Nurses and PT. He had a pretty good day today. I am taking leave from work for a while, trying to get him into a pattern of doing good things for his weakened body but it is hard to be your husband’s wife and therapist. We are keeping many appointments and managing multiple medications but I think it’s worth it. It’s uphill each day but I think it’s worth the climb as we’ve been given our legs to do so.

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